The Golden Rule of Social Media
Engage the way you want to be engaged with.
There’s a golden rule most of us were taught early in life: Treat others the way you want to be treated.
That rule applies to social media, too.
You want customers to engage with you, right?
→To tag you in their photos.
→To share your posts.
→To talk about your wines online.
→To recommend you to their friends.
But… are you doing any of that? Are you using social media socially?
If you’re not actively engaging with your audience—responding to DMs, liking and commenting on their posts, resharing their stories, answering questions, etc—how can you expect them to keep showing up for you?
Why Social Media Communication Matters
For many small and mid-sized wine brands, social media is the front door of your business. It’s how people discover you, ask questions, get support, and feel seen. And yet, I see so many wineries treat their platforms like a bulletin board: post, walk away, and hope people see it.
But social media isn’t a one-way street—it’s a conversation. Think about how weird it would be to walk up to someone at a party, say, “Budbreak is happening!” and then walk away. Or maybe let’s make the party a tasting room.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like this analogy!
How awkward is it when a tasting room host comes up, pours the wine for you, says a cursory, “this is our pinot noir, it comes from that AVA with the transverse mountain ranges,” and then dips out, not to be seen again until it’s time to pay. Like… bruh, wtf?
But that is quite literally what so many wine brands do on social media!
When You Show Up, You Build Trust
When you treat your social accounts as places to connect—not just announce—you build trust. You build relationships. And sometimes, you turn a negative experience into your biggest sale of the quarter.
The Customer That Almost Got Away
A while back, I was managing the social media for a canned wine brand when we received a direct message from a clearly upset customer. They had been trying to get a hold of someone via phone and email for days, and no one had responded (it was a weird tech issue, not a customer service issue, to be clear). They were frustrated and on the verge of walking away from the brand entirely.
But social media was their last resort—and thankfully, I saw the message come through and was able to respond within ten minutes.
Instead of giving a stock reply, I got curious. I asked thoughtful questions and empathized. I kept them engaged while I got in touch with someone from the team who could actually solve their issue.
Within an hour, not only was the issue resolved, but the customer felt so taken care of that they ended up subscribing to the brand’s wine allocation—getting three cases of their canned sangria a month.
From almost walking away, to becoming one of our best customers, all because someone showed up and actually talked to them on social media
You Get What You Give
That’s the golden rule of social media: You get what you give.
Want more tags? Start tagging your customers in stories, posts, or comment replies. I really like doing this with regulars and wine club members.
Want more comments? Leave meaningful comments on your followers' posts and respond to all of the comments you get on your posts (yes, even the emojis). Even better if you can carry on a conversation with someone in the comments.
Want more responses to your stories? Watch and respond to stories of people who follow you (or who you want to follow you), and be genuine about it. Don’t respond like you’re a robot with canned messages. I always like to pretend like I’m talking to them in person.
Here are some examples of this that I love:
I heard of a winery that will do a “customer of the day” post in their stories, making sure to tag the guest if they have social media. The guests feel like rock stars and other people start thinking “huh, maybe I should go there, too!”
Tablas Creek used to do a series called “Rhone at Home” during the pandemic, where they would do a roundup of the posts people had tagged them in each week. It drove great user-generated content!
Reminder: Always ask for consent before posting photos of people on your social media, and if you are resharing someone’s post on your own feed, be sure to ask them for their consent and get the original image or video from them so you don’t degrade the visual with a screenshot.
And as a heads-up: The goal of these small social moments isn’t always to make a sale. It’s to build community and trust so that when you do ask for the sale, your audience already feels connected enough to say yes—and excited enough to tell their friends.
A Few Quick Wins
P.S. This doesn’t need to take you hours every day. I like to set a timer for 10-15 minutes a day of intentional engagement. Here’s how you can spend that time:
Respond to every DM and comment, even the emojis, and even if it’s just to say thank you.
Start using the “mentions” tab on Instagram to reshare and celebrate people tagging your brand.
Create a “customer spotlight” post or story once a month—celebrating the folks who support you.
Scroll through your tagged posts and follower content and leave thoughtful comments.
Bonus tip: Read through the comments on posts you’re tagged in. This is a great way to reach new people.
The Bottom Line
If you want loyal fans who hype your brand, engage with your content, and become repeat customers, you have to show up for them, too.
Remember, think of social media like your tasting room.
Would you ever ignore someone who walked through your door, sat at your bar, and tried to start a conversation? Would you only speak when you had something to say and then vanish again?
Of course not. Because that would be rude. So don’t do it on social media either!
Show up. Engage. Be generous with your attention.
You get what you give.